How to Fight the Fear of Starting Over at 40+
Starting over at 40 or beyond can be terrifying, but fear is a normal part of the process. Whether you're leaving a job, starting a new business, or pursuing a passion project, stepping into the unknown brings anxiety. While fear may never fully disappear, it doesn’t have to hold you back. Here are some steps I’ve used to fight the fear and push forward—and they can help you too.
1. Use Your FAITH
One of the most powerful tools I’ve found in battling fear is faith. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, trusting in something larger than yourself can provide incredible strength.
- Prayer: For me, prayer played a significant role in my journey. When you feel overwhelmed by fear, turning to prayer can calm your mind and center your thoughts. It’s a moment of release, a way to say, "I’m not in this alone."
- More Prayer: It’s not a one-time thing. Returning to prayer throughout your process keeps you grounded, giving you the assurance that you're not facing this challenge solo.
- Knowing You're Not Alone: Faith reminds us that we’re never truly alone. Whether you’re leaning on your higher power, family, or close friends, having that sense of support makes starting over feel a little less daunting. In those moments of doubt, faith provides the confidence that you are being guided to your next step.
2. Make a Decision
Fear thrives in indecision. The longer you delay, the more you allow fear to grow. The antidote is to take action.
- Cut Ties with What Doesn’t Serve You: One of the toughest parts of starting over is leaving behind the things that no longer serve your new path. Whether it’s a job, relationships, or habits that hold you back, it’s essential to make a clean break. You can’t move forward if you're dragging the weight of the past with you
- Come Up with a Name: Once you've made a decision to move forward, give your new endeavor a name. Whether it’s a business, project, or even a nickname for your journey, giving it a name makes it real. It moves from an idea in your head to something tangible.
- Write Down Your Thoughts and Ideas: Putting your ideas on paper is one of the most powerful ways to organize your thoughts. Don't worry about structure or perfection—just get everything out of your head.Stream-of-consciousness exercises can be especially useful here. Let your thoughts flow without editing or judgment. Not only will this clear mental space, but it can also help reveal what you truly want in your next chapter.Try the Dream Session: You can find a stream-of-consciousness exercise I call The Dream Session in my book, 13 Interactive Challenges to Self-Discovery. This exercise is designed to help you clarify your vision for the future. The more you practice, the clearer your path becomes.
3. Don't Tell Too Many People
As you embark on your new journey, it may be tempting to tell everyone about your plans. However, this can sometimes lead to negative reactions. People might discourage you or make you question yourself, feeding your fear rather than supporting your growth.
- Keep It Private: Not everyone will understand your decision to start over, and that's okay. By keeping your plans close to your
chest in the early stages, you protect yourself from unwanted negativity. Share your dreams with a trusted few, but don't broadcast them widely until you're ready.
- Use Doubters as Fuel: If people do try to talk you out of it, use their doubt as motivation. There’s something incredibly empowering about proving people wrong. Let their negativity be the fire that pushes you even further toward your goal.
4. Understand That Fear Never Fully Goes Away
One of the biggest misconceptions is that you can eliminate fear altogether. The truth is, fear will likely stick around, and if it completely vanishes, that might be a warning sign.
- Fear Keeps You on Your Toes: Running with a bit of fear can be beneficial. It keeps you sharp, alert,
and motivated to keep improving. It’s like having a little push at your back, reminding you not to get too comfortable. As long as you manage it and don’t let it paralyze you, fear can be a powerful ally in your journey.
Conclusion: Embrace the Fear
Starting over at 40+ can be intimidating, but fear is not your enemy. Instead of avoiding fear, learn to embrace it as part of the process. By relying on your faith, making decisive moves, guarding your plans, and understanding that fear will always linger, you can use that fear to go to the next level.
by Marshie Morgan
